Ouch! Falling off the wagon really hurts!

So- I haven't posted in a while- and the longer time went by the guilter I felt and I realized that this is one of my tendencies that contributes to my unhealthy weight. Avoidance. As much as I don't like to admit it- and as much as I don't see myself this way, I have to admit that I am guilty of .... PERFECTIONISM.
Anyone who has seen my messy room would probably disagree- but at it turns out, the P-word manifests itself in different ways in different people.

In me- it tends to manifest itself as if I can't do it right I get really mad at myself and that can result in a defeatist attitude and then I put myself in a place of avoidance. That is what happened here. No excuses- I knew what I should be doing but didn't- My no-soda goal is still intact- having only had a few accidental sips and one not so accidental incident... but I still feel very proud of myself.

Last Friday, beleaguered by backpain and self depreciating thoughts, I picked myself up off the floor and weighed my sorry self.... 209. Yup. Worse than when I began. And So I set to work, watching episodes of HEAVY on A&E and RUBY to inspire me I started again on my weight loss journey...
This Friday I weigh 205.4- that's a 3.6 pound loss. I am moving in the right direction again and it feels great. I even sat through the McDonald's drive through with my family and I ordered NOTHING. (that takes some effort)

I have 166 (roughly, I hate math so I will have to recount that) days left until I turn 30- that's almost 6 months.  I am convinced that I can do it. Hudson is started Kindergarten in a few days and I am going to go to the gym  with a friend while he's in school.

I am ready to begin again (and I hey at least now I have some better BEFORE pictures.)