Look I am at gym!

Is that a sheen of sweat you see? Why yes, yes it is.

I power walked for 20 minutes.
I did the rowing machine for 10 at 10pounds and 30 reps per minute.

I tried the assisted chin up machine but just about killed myself so I will leave that one to the experts. :)

So I would like to thank my husband for taking care of the boys so I can get all sweaty and gross and shower without interruption. Especially because L was in the throws of a tantrum when I walked out the door.

Am I selfish? I feel selfish when I leave but I know I am working hard here so I am not wasting the opportunity!

Qdoba

Ate out tonight. Feeling pretty proud of myself for looking up calories before I left and sticking to my plan. 2 chicken soft tacos with a little lettuce, cheese, and pico and a small dish of tortilla soup. Not too shabby! Tasted fresh and delicious and I was satisfied. My usual there? A steak quesadilla with guac and sour cream a side of chips and 3 cheese queso and a soda. Isn't it nice to make better choices without feeling like a martyr? I think so too.

Eating the Sun

So it's been compared to the color and consistency of baby diarrhea. I don't care I am loving the green smoothie! My friend Mary introduced us a few months ago and I am hooked. I had no idea it was so easy and delicious to eat your leafy greens.
This particular smoothie is a cup and a half of organic spinach and arugula , a banana and frozen peaches. I made it in my magic bullet in like 60 seconds.

Some benefits that I know of of green smoothies:

Because you are just blending the ingredients you don't lose any value fiber you would from "juicing"

When you have a green smoothie for breakfast all the vitamins are easily absorbed into your body because your stomach isn't full.

Dark green leafy veggies prevent cancer

There are many more but I am typing on my phone so I will revisit this post later. :)

When my husband heard about me drinking green smoothies he rolled his eyes and said "oh no. You're not trying to eat the sun are you?"
"huh?"
He explained that a hippie health but friend of his said that since plants get their nutrients from the light of the sun that eating them is the closest we come to eating the cosmic power of the sun ourselves.
"Oh. . . No. I just like them," I said.
He sighed with relief "ok then, enjoy"

Product spotlight - Yoplait Greek Coconut flavor

This weeks product spotlight is on my newest favorite snack. I crave sweets and watching my weight often equals grudgingly watching my family enjoy while I, the martyr, sit by and refuse. Well now I have something I can indulge with and not feel quilts. Yoplait Greek combines just enough sweet with the strong greek flavor to give your taste buds a satisfying experience. The coconut is my favorite. I kinda feel like I am on vacation when I eat it. Maybe it's an olfactory thing, I don't know. But it's delicious and has real coconut flakes in it.

At 110 calories and 8gs of protein it's a light snack that stays with you. And it's fat free :) how can you pass that up? Also gluten free!

Anyway I love it and will be buying more of it. :) I recommend you do too.

I am back!

What a year has passed! I am now 30, and loving it, a proud home owner for the first time, a proud momma of two healthy boys and you guessed it, nowhere near my goal! ;)

But guess what. I am still inching along. I have not quit. In October of last year my back went out severely and I was set back in my goals yet again.
And my last post about avoidance was right on the nose. This past April I was able to harness that (a post for another time) and I have been pursuing my goals with renewed gusto. I am clearing out the clutter from ALL the areas of my life. My weight included. So today I am 200 pounds. My short-term goal is 185 and my long term is 155. I am on myfitnesspal if anyone wants to join me my handle is kellywithjustay. So here is to another chapter in this saga. Can I do it before 31??

Ouch! Falling off the wagon really hurts!

So- I haven't posted in a while- and the longer time went by the guilter I felt and I realized that this is one of my tendencies that contributes to my unhealthy weight. Avoidance. As much as I don't like to admit it- and as much as I don't see myself this way, I have to admit that I am guilty of .... PERFECTIONISM.
Anyone who has seen my messy room would probably disagree- but at it turns out, the P-word manifests itself in different ways in different people.

In me- it tends to manifest itself as if I can't do it right I get really mad at myself and that can result in a defeatist attitude and then I put myself in a place of avoidance. That is what happened here. No excuses- I knew what I should be doing but didn't- My no-soda goal is still intact- having only had a few accidental sips and one not so accidental incident... but I still feel very proud of myself.

Last Friday, beleaguered by backpain and self depreciating thoughts, I picked myself up off the floor and weighed my sorry self.... 209. Yup. Worse than when I began. And So I set to work, watching episodes of HEAVY on A&E and RUBY to inspire me I started again on my weight loss journey...
This Friday I weigh 205.4- that's a 3.6 pound loss. I am moving in the right direction again and it feels great. I even sat through the McDonald's drive through with my family and I ordered NOTHING. (that takes some effort)

I have 166 (roughly, I hate math so I will have to recount that) days left until I turn 30- that's almost 6 months.  I am convinced that I can do it. Hudson is started Kindergarten in a few days and I am going to go to the gym  with a friend while he's in school.

I am ready to begin again (and I hey at least now I have some better BEFORE pictures.)

still walking- but slower.

I threw out my back last Saturday- although it still wasn't better from last time- this time I threw it out so bad I went to the doctor to get some help with the pain. So I am on vicodin and muscle relaxers- and I feel much better. I am able to accomplish simple household tasks and I have been walking though out- just not as quickly or as much. The doctor also suggested pilates or yoga to help when the pain recedes- does anyone have any suggestions for yoga videos for me? And before you suggest,  I am not fond of Densie Austin- something about her voice is grates on my nerves.

Back Pain :(

My back has been killing me for the last week and a half and I find myself barely able to move- but I remember from the last time my back was so bad what I did to overcome and to muscle through it, and that is walking. Walking helps to loosen the stiffness and it is one of the only low impact workouts that I can do at home or with the kids.

So I have decided until my back is stronger I am going to do what I did last time my back was out and I was trying to lose weight. Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds.

It's easy to follow- she starts with just a mile a day, gives you breaks on days you need it, and slowly over the six week program adds a little more each week.

Last time I did this six week program I lost 17 pounds. It was about 4 years ago. I have some of her DVDs and at first she really annoyed me- HOW could any one be that cheerful? But after a few times of doing the work out with her, I found myself actually smiling, and suddenly that annoying enthusiasm became encouraging support.

The best part is that you don't have to be terribly coordinated. It's just walking, sidesteps, knee lifts and kicks... that's all. (I could wax poetic about the time I tried Jazzercise and wore my street shoes- they were dusty- and I literally wiped out in the first five minutes- flat on my back. The worst part? the entire front wall is a mirror so EVERYONE saw it. I could never keep up with the routines, I was always at least a half a beat off... )This way I just walk in place in my living room, or down the street.

So in addition to the program- I am going to try to post how many steps I do each day and aim to take at least 1 more each day. (I know this will get increasingly difficult- so I won't beat myself up if I don't do it. But until my back starts healing a bit more, this is as challenging as it's going to get, folks. my goal is to get 10,000 a day eventually.)

So yesterday. 4/12/2011  - 5,330 steps

Biggest Loser recap

I am constantly inspired by this show- one of my favorites this season got sent home tonight- For those who haven't seen it yet and are perhaps waiting for it to air on HULU--- beware of spoiler alert!!----

I totally didn't see it coming, but Courtney got sent home and before she went- she looked straight into the camera and said "for you guys at home- you don't need to be on the ranch to lose weight- you just need to believe in yourself, and trust the process"

Trust the process- that struck me. I have defined my goal- set out things to do to be better... (Ok so the Oreo's were a bad idea this week, but I bought Skim Delight milk to drink with them, that has to count for something right?) but do I really BELIEVE that I can do it?

It has made me ponder... and made me make a decision. I will work out once a week at the rec center.... I will buy a punch card- and I will let the day care at the rec center watch my children for an hour or so while I exercise... I will not feel guilty about it.

So- there it is... The rest of the week I will work out at home- but I can give myself one day a week to get healthier right? (and to get away from my kiddos for a brief time...)

April Fool.... and a new day.

I lost 10 pounds this week!!!

April Fools... :(

I don't know why this happens to me- one day I will be all excited about losing weight and doing all I can, and the next I throw out my back and I find myself eating Nutella out of the jar with a spoon. :( Hello? Can you say 160 calories per tablespoon? sigh...

In any case- my sore back has been an excuse long enough, and now I say "NO MORE EXCUSES!"

Today- I recommit myself to losing the weight- I am writing up a new GAME PLAN- I am going to start doing all those things that I know work for me-

1.Walking

2.writing down what I eat

3. drink more water

4. Chew gum instead of mindless snacking

5. Don't bring home the "trigger foods" (you know the ones that you can't just eat one of? Lately, my weakness has been Tapioca pudding- don't ask me why, I used to hate the stuff as a kid and now I can eat a 6 pack of jello brand cups in a sitting... Blah. :(....)

And I am going to have to come up with a SOLID routine- no more of this waffling around everyday, doing things as I feel in the mood for it. From now on- when I get up at 8- the first thing I will do is some light cardio (walking or dancing or wii fit or something)- and I think everyday at 2 we'll head outside and Hudson can play while I walk around the playground with Lincoln in the stroller....

Thank goodness I have this blog- and you my dear, non-judgmental readers to keep me honest or this might have been one of those quietly slip back into my starting weight moments. :)

The good news? I still haven't had soda and the cravings have all but gone away! So there is at least one thing that I can count as an accomplishment! I can DO This!! :) ....yay me.

Discouraged

My wii scale wouldn't work last friday- I think the battery was low or something, so I didn't weigh in again. :(

But this last week I broke not only one but TWO chairs just by sitting on them. :( In my defense they are OLD rickety chairs... but landing on my butt with a chair literally in pieces beneath me is pretty discouraging... And not in the cute Goldie Locks way either.

Chalk it up to a sign- I need to get OFF MY CABOOSE and lose more weight.

Also there is a stain on my NO SODA goal- which makes me mad. I ordered Orange Hi-C (which is super sugary and not a great choice to begin with, but it's not soda) from the Burger King drive-thru the other day and as I was driving home discovered that they gave me Tropicana Twister orange soda instead- I threw it away, but the bubbles burned on my tongue like I had committed a crime.

(Hangs her head in shame)

sigh- The comfortable bubble of time that I have allowed myself grows ever smaller- but I don't.

Walking

SPRING is just around the corner- and man am I feeling it. Now that it isn't so freezing cold outside (even though it may go back at any moment, and I must be prepared) I can get outside more with the kids- Getting outside opens a new door into fitness for me.

Tomorrow is my weigh in- and I will not allow myself to skip it- come what may- but I have a friend whose wii fit was off on her weight, and since that's what I have been using I wonder if I weigh more than I thought. :( Which is a discouraging thought. No- tomorrow I will stand on that scale, square my shoulders, and take it like a grown-up.

In the mean time, I am lacing up my sneakers and hitting the sidewalk. (I will be toting the kids in the little red wagon, should offer some weight resistance, and I won't have to worry about the 5 year old keeping up with me.)

I need to find my pedometer and start counting the miles. :)

Get out of Jail Free Card

I have had a rough week with the back- and I didn't weigh in the morning.

It's not that I think I've gained weight and I don't want to know how much- it's more that I am just not feeling it today. I know that if I weigh in today one of two things will happen...

1. If I GAIN weight- I feel feel super discouraged- I will berate myself for a general lack of effort and because of my back I feel want to give up. (of course I WON'T-)

2. If I LOSE weight I will feel like "Hey! I'm all good" and I won't put in the appropriate level of effort this week.

I know where I need to do better this week, (although I am proud to say that I have NOT had a soda since 12Feb2011- and I have only eaten out once this week again.)

I still believe I consume too many calories in my liquids- and I consume too much sugar.

CURSE YOU GIRL SCOUTS!

I did cook a new recipe this week (it's a new goal of mine to try a new healthier (this is relative of course to what I NORMALLY eat- so don't judge too harshly if it's higher in calories- it still may have more vegetables or less sodium or something...)) Wow do I use too many parentheses? (probably) I need to be a better cook- I think if I enjoyed it more, I would cook more- eat out less and be healthier.

ANYHOW- I will leave you all in suspense this week- and we'll see how I have done come next friday. (Maybe the cookies will be gone by then..... sigh.)

Fat Tuesday

I have never celebrated it before- but I think it may be a good excuse to explain away a box of girl scout cookies and 4 things of tapioca pudding that I ate today. . . and a large piece of Chocolate cake for the Relief Society birthday dinner. (Happy Birthday- and I am glad to be a member of the largest women's organization in the world!)

My back is on the fritz again- and I am left hobbiling away- pushing through the pain to do even the most basic of things- like changing a diaper, doing the laundry, or standing fully erect. . . As it is- I am slumping through the house like Igor.

I don't do so good with pain. Add to it the broken blood vessels in my eyes from trying to get my 10 month old to sleep in his own crib instead of on the futon mattress on the floor because I'd LIKE to have a place to sit in the living room. (Moving is the pits- and I have decided I like packing a HECK of alot more than unpacking... suddenly all that stuff that I said, "eh, just throw it in a box" is coming back to haunt me- and my back. The worst is the stuff I don't know what to do with because it belongs to the husband. )

Anyway- is it possible to still loose weight when one cannot move and yet consumes more that one's fair share of pudding? I wouldn't bank on it. But- there is always tomorrow- so I forgive myself for today- and will vow to make better food choices tomorrow! :)

New Recipe

Last night I decided to try a recipe from wordofwisdomliving.com- but with my own twist on it.

It was so good. Vegetarian Enchiladas.

Sauce:

2 tblsp. Olive Oil

1 can of diced tomatos with green chilies (pureed)

1/8 cup corn starch

1 can of vegetable broth

1 clove garlic (crushed)

salt and white pepper

Enchiladas:

3 cups of Mexican blend cheese (pepper jack and cheddar) shredded

6 green onions finely chopped

Handful of cilantro leaves (optional- but I ADORE the stuff!)

1 can of corn

1 can of black beans (rinsed and drained)

1 carton of chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed)

corn tortillas.

In a medium saucepan heat olive oil and garlic- add salt and pepper and pureed tomato and chilies. whisk for 1 minute. Add cornstarch to a little cold water and whisk until it's smooth- add to sauce. Let simmer until thick. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

Combine 2 cups of cheese, spinach, beans, corn, onion and cilantro in a large bowl and mix well. Lightly oil a 9x13 pan- spoon some sauce on the bottom of pan. (I tried to roll the filling into the tortillas but they kept breaking- so I just did layers- like a lasagna.) Over with remaining cheese and bake for 20 minutes.

I topped mine with sliced olives and more green onion.

Husband was skeptical - but liked it. that's my seal of approval. :)

Check out this Website

I was just referred to a website that I find very interesting- it may benefit you to check it out.

There are challenges once a week to change something in your life for the better- you can even print out a reminder card to stick on a bathroom mirror or on the fridge- and these aren't crazy things- just simple little changes (most of them) and they are just plain SMART changes.

For those of you who might not know- the Word of Wisdom - is a very important part of my life as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. It is the Lord's law of healthy living as revealed to Joseph Smith. I have a TESTIMONY of it- and of Joseph Smith. (Not that I believe any of my dear readers would belittle that- but I just wanted to you to know that I know it's true- and any attempts to persuade me otherwise will be in vain.)

The blog www.wordofwisdomliving.com does a good job of explaining it- here http://www.wordofwisdomliving.com/wow/- but if you want the word of wisdom in its entirety, you can find it here- http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/89?lang=eng if you're interested in learning more- just search www.lds.org for more information- or email me and I could tell you more.

Anyway- I think WordofWisdomliving.com is pretty cool and I will be following it from now on- trying to live a healthier life one week at a time- (which I was already sort of doing, but it's nice to have a little more motivation and guidance along the way.)

Weigh in 3/4

-0

hmmmm. No movement. But I can honestly say that I am not going to stress about it this week. My back was out and I didn't exercise as much as I should and on Wednesday night I ate at Hardee's and that's probably affecting the weigh in as well. (But- I only ate out once this week and for me that is an improvement.)

So this is a good time for me to evaluate how I did this week and what I need to change. I can't be complacent with a -0. I SHOULD be more upset by it. I think I take that "don't beat yourself up" mantra a little too seriously. I think that by saying "don't beat yourself up" to myself is what got me to this weight in the first place. Maybe I need to beat myself up a little more, eh?

SO- This week-

1.) No Soda (as always, but I need to write it down- I haven't slipped up at all!)

2.) 100 Crunches EVERY DAY - except sunday

3.) Replace juice with Water this week. (I need to drink more water- but water here is nasty so I have to wait for my Pur filter to fill and I am not patient enough I guess...)

4.) WEAR GOOD SHOES- instead of just clunky snow boots- that should help my back.

I'm Back!

So I did my first 100 crunches since Saturday- And .....

They felt wonderful!

I have been a weenie (not a 98% fat free weenie, but still) about trying them again since the Lasagna incident. But- I did them and my body remembered what was going on, even with the brief vacation- and I completed them without pain.

I am just going to have to be more careful. I think getting a pair of good shoes will help too, because one of my legs is longer than the other and my gait can cause my back to slip.

Anyway, there you are.

Just something to think about

Of Baby Showers and Sore Muscles

Saturday I went to an AWESOME baby shower for a very sweet lady- and my friend Amanda made some positively SINFUL goodies- (So so so yummy)... I did pretty good, I thought, at restraining myself- I didn't even try the cheese cake (which I adore)- and limited myself to 3 oreo bon bons- (and when I say limited- It could have been MANY more) and I didn't have any walnut bars (until Sunday when I had like 5 :( ) or lemon cake. They all looked so good but I had to keep my goal in mind. I had a handful of peanut M&Ms and a Mango smoothie.

The previous me (I would say the "old" me, but as I near 30 I have decided to take the word out of my vocabulary) would have gone Hungry Hungry Hippos on that desert table... So I am feeling pretty proud.

Then, yesterday I made my very first Lasagna. (I am not much of a cook- as I have mentioned) But nobody told me how DANG HEAVY the pan is with all those layers of goodness- and I threw out my back putting it into the oven. After the noodle and cheesy goodness was safe inside the oven, I decided to stretch my back right then and there to prevent further soreness and I hear my husband from the the dining room:

"What are you doing???"

"Stretching."

"Oh... because it looks like you're worshiping the Lasagna."

I am still laughing. There I was, bent in a Uttana Shishosana (yoga pose) right in front of the oven.

But my back is already feeling a little better so I am going to try to do my 100 crunches today, it will just take me longer. I may have to inflate the balance ball to help me out. :)